Wednesday, December 22, 2010

From the, "This would only happen to me" file....

Mr. I and I went to visit our Financial Guy for our annual check-up. It was one of those meetings where you leave with a few printed reports telling you how broke you are. Anyway, after the meeting I needed to go to the Lady's Room. So, I headed down the hall, stack of papers in tow.

I entered the bathroom and realized I had no place to put the papers. So, I put them on the back of the toilet. Now...don't get ahead of me here...

I sat, did my business (strictly liquid, if you must know) and then stood. As I stood I felt and heard a rustle of papers. I turned quickly to find one of the reports (the full report mind you) there, in the toilet, marinating in "my business". Of course, I had to grab the papers. Now what? I retrieved them from the toilet and stuck them in the garbage. I realized that my entire personal report, all 4 pages of it, was the information that took the plunge. The other two sets I was holding were fine.

Now, after retrieving the soggy report, I had to go tell my Financial Guy's daughters (they work there as well) about my dilemma. Of course, I had to apologize for what they were to find in the trash can. And, of course, I needed them to print another report. Luckily, I know these people pretty well.

A normal person would have been mortified, or at the very least, embarrassed. I really wasn't embarrassed. I found it more amusing than anything. My first thought, after, "Oh No! I have to put my there!" was, "Wow! This will make a great blog post or FaceBook status."

I ask you....WTF is wrong with me? I've been overtaken by the narcissistic reality show bug? Just have to put my business on the street? Well, maybe. But you have to admit, it was pretty damn funny.

I hope beyond hope that the fall wasn't a sign of my financial status for 2011. Because if it is, that's really gonna piss me off.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Christmas + Chanukah = Chanumas. Cheers!

This weird post is brought to you by the letter C
Constant Celebrations. Copious Cocktails. Congenial Calls. Capra Cinema. Countless Calories. Coughing Cash. Christmas? Chanukah? Converging Customs: Chanumas! Courtesy Compliments Conviviality Completely.

Couples Combine Cultural Commemorations. Communing, Crafting, Collective Comfort. Captivating Cheerful Children; Callow Conjoin Creaky - Commingling Companions. Complaints Cease. Calm Composure Collects. Chipper Clan.

Conversations Carry Consideration, Cooperation. Comedy Cleanses Complications. Characters Clowning Can Cajole Cantankerous Crowds. Cold Concoctions Cure Cynics, Cancelling Crappy Comments.

Credit Cards Cooking. Call Costco Catering. Contact Central Casting. Crash Cabin Cleaning. Civilized Clothed Chassis. Company's Coming! Commence Countdown.

Concocting Cheerful Commotion. Commission Charming Chores. Cameras Clicking, Capturing Costumed Characters. Circulating Copies (Computer Contraband) Chronicling Ceremony. Cyberspace - Cascading Chums Cavalcading, Causing Commotion. Complimentary Calls.....Cute! Clever! Cameras Click, Click, Click.....Chagrined Chaperones Can't Cancel Crimson Cheeks. Crazy.

Celebrate Cautiously. Cheers!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Jon Stewart's Last Show For 2010 Dedicated to 9/11 First Responders Getting the Shaft from DC--Must See TV

Jon Stewart is the most trusted name in news for a reason. He devoted the last show of 2010 to the 9/11 First Responders and the GOP representatives who chose to block the Zadroga bill in the Senate. Jon brings the shameful acts of several GOP Senators to light. No one else did before this. NO ONE on any major network bothered to even mention this bill. SHAMEFUL.

Well, you know what? Any Democrat or Republican who did not vote to pass the Zadroga Bill in the House or Senate (Yes, I know it passed the House....doesn't matter) should have their Tax Payer paid Health Insurance revoked. Police and Fire Fighters should boycott the protection of each of their many homes and personal beings and they should picket their homes....daily. Additionally, they should retire from the Senate and House and forfeit their Tax Payer paid lifetime pensions.

So there is a little Bipartisanship for you. Across the board, if those so called "leaders" don't think enough of 9/11 First Responders and their families to help them with thier health and financial issues, then they shouldn't hold office nor should they receive any money from the Tax Payer. Period. The End.

Oh Boy! The majority who got off their lazy asses and voted in November, are bringing more of those pieces of wasted flesh to DC. Oh Joy.

I repeat: We're screwed. The end.

Thank you again to Jon Stewart. Here's what you need to see:

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Jon Stewart - Lame as F@#K Congress

Yeah....Democrats may be spineless, lilly livered idiots, but the Republicans are self serving, mean, exploiters. But what does it matter. Their base is up Fox News' ass and will never watch this anyway. They question nothing, because the Red Ones are their leaders.... what they say is gospel....literally.

Jon Stewart- Obama Leaves Clinton in White Press Room are seriously testing my patience and I believe you have landed upon my very last nerve.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Happy Birthday Sweet Cheeks

It's December 10 again. It keeps coming every year, no matter what. So does February 28, March 7 and March 15. Four dates that our family remembers. We remember exactly where we were in 2008 when time stood still.

Sweet Cheeks would have been 18 today. She would have been filled with piss and vinegar, sugar and spice. And hopefully we would have understood one another better long before today's date.

The last time we saw each other in 2007 it ended in a fight. The last time I heard her voice, it was over the phone. When she heard me say her name, she hung up on me. She was 15.

These are things I have to live with. Time marches on. Life moves on. And the living, in our family at least, have memories of her and 4 days during the year where tears will be shed. Tears are shed at other times, of course, but on those days, it's a given.

February 28, 2008 she stepped inside the cab of that pick-up truck for a quick ride home. An immature driver acting like a fool and using bad judgement prevented her from arriving at her destination.

March 7, 2008 Sweet Cheeks fought hard, but didn't make it.

March 15, 2008 her funeral was on my 46th birthday.

December 10, 2008 would have been her 16th birthday.

As each year passes, those dates are always flashing at me like neon signs on the side of a long and winding road.

I have to say something to her on every one of those days. If I don't say them out loud, I keep them in my thoughts. Usually, I write them to her in this blog.

Although she rarely believed it, I loved her very much. She and her sister were the closest I ever came to having children. I tried to do what was best for them even though they lived 700 miles away. They were in my thoughts every day. They still are.

I know she's in Heaven, celebrating her Birthday and hopefully "chillaxing" with her GG-D. As I said back in 2008, I hope GG-D's in a good mood.

Happy Birthday Koo Bear. I love you.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

On the 8th night of Chanukah the gift is.....

Erran Baron Cohen - Dreidel

A friend on FaceBook shared this one with me. I love this!! He also found the 7th night's gift. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

The artist won't let the video be embedded, so please click the link:

Erran Baron Cohen - Dreidel

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Monday, December 6, 2010

The 6th Night of Chanukah the gift is.....

The new updated Festivus Pole and Harry Hanukah.

Behold, the power of the pole...and, oh...wanna buy some socks?

Sunday, December 5, 2010

For the 4th and 5th nights of Chanukah, the gift is...

A lesson: Don't every put a bottle of Charonnay in the freezer and proceed to fry latkes on the 4th Night. You will forget the bottle of wine and have this as a new project for the 5th Night of Chanukah. A mess was had by all.