Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Leap Day......REALLY.

On this Leap Day, I had an enlightening revelation:
Self-righteousness is a young woman’s game.

What the hell does that mean? In my mind, it takes a lot of effort to remain 100% omniscient, correct, pure, morally and intellectually superior 100% of the time. It takes fortitude, confidence and a big ass pedestal to place one's self upon....perfectly pedicured feet (I'm sure) included.

How I got here isn't important. Let's just say that a sweet girl was working really hard to teach this old dog new tricks about the world as she sees it now. Problem is the girth of the exercise was only matched by its obnoxiously condescending delivery. After reading just a few paragraphs of the intended lesson plan, I had an in my face, ah-ha Oprah moment. The girl did teach me a lesson, but it wasn't the one she had hoped for. I believe that the original altercation, accompanied with the diatribe that followed, may have been some payback for me trying to be smarter than my family when I was younger. God....if you are listening, I get it now and I’m really, really, really sorry.....really.

I understand now that the long letters I wrote to boyfriends when they broke up with me, filled with self-righteous indignation and overflowing emotions, were a waste of writer’s cramp. I’m really glad that they didn’t have email or FaceBook when I was in my 20’s because I would have gotten myself into a lot of trouble. The act of writing long hand on paper with an actual pen slows down the thoughts long enough to save yourself…..a little.

I now understand that my constant listening of NPR when I was in my 20’s made my family crazy. I understand now when I tell my brother that he sounds like a total dick when he constantly uses the “N” word, makes me sound condescending. I also understand that when I tell him he really doesn’t want to spread that kind of hate to his children, I am totally out of my league and I need to STFU. I get it now. But God, I’m now old. And although it took me this long to fully understand how people really don’t give a shit about what I think or say, I really get it now. I need to learn to Shut The Fuck Up much more than comes naturally to me.

So here is what I'm going to try to do:
  • I need to remember that it isn’t my duty to express my opinion at the drop of a hat.....with or without permission.
  • It isn't my job to educate the masses or my Tea Party nightmares on my FaceBook friend’s list. (Liberal friends: don't judge. I keep my options open to break the monotony of everyone agreeing with, that made me laugh)
  • I pledge just to bitch about politics on my private FaceBook group of Liberals where no one else can see me. 
  • I'll try to keep dipping my toe back into the Twitter pool, even though I don't seem to be swimming very well there.
  • I promise not to post anymore links about any interesting articles I read about current events. Nobody cares.
  • I will try to just keep it light and airy in social media and write on my blog….no one reads that anyway.
  • I've known for awhile that I need to rethink my social media self, I really know it now. I get it.
  • I will try not to write such long emails and try my best to keep it within the 5 "Ws" and 1 "H" style.....and don't forget my "Inverted Pyramid".
  • I will try to remember that humility is not a dirty word, but condescension is.
So there is the laundry list of challenges I need to attempt. I need to take my Karma like a good little bitch and make my life easier and lighten the load in my brain.

Just remember, they just aren't that in to me. But I need to be more in to me.

Like I said, self-righteousness is a young woman’s game.....REALLY!

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